Signals
by Sixty Watermelons
Summary: Nate's thoughts on his relationships over the past year and a half. Songfic based off of "Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic At the Disco. R


**A/N: I'm attempting another songfic. This one's for Gossip Girl, though, and it's written from Nate's POV. But it's another Panic At the Disco song.**

**Disclaimer: Gossip Girl is property of Cecily von Ziegesar and the CW. "Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" is property of Panic At the Disco.**

**R&R**

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_Is it still me that makes you sweat?_

_Am I who you think about in bed?_

_When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?_

"I love you, Nate Archibald."

Had she really meant it, or did she just want to have sex? She took me into a room at her mother's party. She invited me over to her house when her mom wasn't there. She tried to get me to have sex with her so many times—before she knew what had happened with Serena.

_Then think of what you did_

_And how I hope to God he was worth it_

_When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin_

Then after my father gets arrested, she leaves. We've known each other since we were kids. What the hell was Blair doing? My dad had just gotten arrested, damnit. And she took off in a limo while the cops handcuffed him.

_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck_

_Than any boy you'll ever meet_

_Sweetie, you had me_

And then at the ball. We went as friends, then she kissed me, and we slept together. This girl doesn't know how to send a clear signal. When she tries, all I get is static.

_Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of_

_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?_

_No, no, no, you know it will always just be me_

I tried to be a good boyfriend. But she'd always been preoccupied. She acted weird for days, until I told her I loved her. And she didn't even say it back, at least not right away. I'd always be wondering why she was acting like this.

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

And I found out why she was acting so not-Blairish. The night my dad got arrested, she went to Victrola, where she lost her virginity to Chuck, my best friend, in the back of a limo. Both of them lied to me. She was supposed to be my _girlfriend_. And he was my best friend. And I didn't want to have anything to do with either of them again.

_So I guess we're back to us_

_Oh, cameraman, swing the focus_

_In case I lost my train of thought_

_Where was it that we last left off?_

Then everything with Serena happened. We had to work together to help Serena. I'd started sort-of dating Vanessa then, but I gave up my date with her to help Blair. I've never really been sure why I did, though.

_Oh, now I do recall_

_We were just getting to the part_

_Where the shock sets in and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick_

And then Chuck won her back at his dad's wedding, at the same time Vanessa and I broke up. How did she manage to get Chuck, who's never dated just one girl at a time. He's never had an official girlfriend. But he wanted Blair.

_I hope you didn't expect to get all the attention_

_Now, let's not get selfish_

_Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?_

Serena pretended to date me all summer so nobody would know that I was going out with the Duchess. Apparently, Blair was dating the Duchess' stepson. And the Duchess was having an affair with him. That was really twisted.

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster_

Relationships on the Upper East Side are worse than anywhere else in the world. They're never what you want them to be, or what you expect.

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

Months later, after Dan and I became friends, I realized I really liked Jenny, and tried to start something with her. That didn't work because Vanessa stole the letter I wrote her. So nothing ever happened with us. But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Vanessa hadn't stolen the letter. Would Jenny and I be dating, or would we have already broken up? Knowing New York, the answer's pretty clear.

_Dance to this beat_

_Dance to this beat_

_Dance to this beat_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster_

Vanessa and I got back together. She's probably the first girl I've ever dated who I've actually wanted to date. With Blair, we've been together pretty much since we were six. With Vanessa, I didn't have to date her if I didn't want to. With Blair, I was being told what to do.

_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck_

_Than any boy you'll ever meet_

_Sweetie, you had me_

_Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of_

_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?_

_No, no, no, you know it will always just be me_

I found Blair in an empty room during the party at the Vanderbilts. S he hadn't been acting like herself at all during grandfather's party because she got drunk. Talking about what we were like when we were younger made me remember what I liked about Blair. Maybe she and I could be friends instead of dating. Anyways, I was still going out with Vanessa. Maybe being friends with Blair would be a good thing.

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_

And then Vanessa accused me of cheating on her with Blair. Why didn't she trust me? Blair and I have known each other since we were little kids. We've got a past. But maybe that was why Vanessa didn't believe me. I didn't get it. Why couldn't she just live with Blair and me being friends? It probably didn't help that Blair kept insisting she and I were going to get back together.

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Dance to this beat_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Dance to this beat_

_And hold a lover close_

And then Blair and I _did_ get back together. I think. I mean, nothing's ever for sure with Blair. But when I kissed her in the park, she didn't pull away. So I guess we're back together. At least for now.

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster_

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**A/N: R&R**

**Love as always,**

**Sunsets on the East Side**


End file.
